Snake Oil or Useful?
The Top 3 Most Annoying Marketing Cold Calls
(Plus One Honourable Mention)
Running an online company means we get pitched constantly.
The ironic part? We’re in digital marketing — so they’re selling us our own services.
Instead of ignoring them (okay, sometimes we still do), we thought we’d rate the most common cold calls business owners receive on a scale of:
1 = Actually Helpful
10 = Pure Snake Oil
This isn’t a rant. It’s perspective — from people who get these calls too.
📞 Call #1: “Your SEO Isn’t Ranking Well”
RATING: 5/10
If you have a website, you’ve heard this one. Someone ran a quick audit and found technical gaps. Missing tags, weak headings, low “SEO score.”
Not wrong. Just incomplete.
Typical talking points include:
- Keyword Gaps
- Meta Descriptions
- Broken Links
- On-page Score
- Header Structure
- Technical Tweaks
Helpful? Sometimes.
But SEO isn’t just formatting. It’s audience alignment, engagement signals, content depth, search console data, competitive positioning, and now AI search behaviour.
If someone guarantees page one rankings? That’s a 10.
SEO is strategy, not a checklist.
Before You React— Be Sure To Ask One Question:
Does this support my real business objectives or just someone else’s targets?
👉 If the answer isn’t clear, neither is the strategy.
📞 Call #2: “We’re Calling About Your Google Ads Account”
RATING: 7/10
These calls usually come with urgency.
“There are critical improvements needed.”
“Your campaigns aren’t optimized.”
“You’re missing out.”
Important note: these are rarely actual Google employees. They’re third-party contractors with performance targets.
Common pushes: (note, most of these are not in your best interest)
- Switch keywords to broad match
- Turn everything into PMAX
- Increase daily budget
- Expand display network or partner networks
- Open a new account structure
- Apply auto-recommendations blindly
Most of these suggestions are delivered without asking about your campaign strategy, ad group structure, margin targets, lead quality goals, or business priorities.
They’re often account-level pushes — not strategy-level conversations.
And if you look closely, many of those changes benefit:
- Platform automation
- Increased ad spend
- Broader network reach
- Third-party performance incentives
More than they benefit your specific growth objectives.
Now, to be fair — not everything suggested is bad. Early in our career, we’ve taken some of these calls out of curiosity and picked up useful reporting insights. There are occasionally small tactical wins buried inside.
But strategy should always start with:
- What are we trying to achieve?
- What type of customer are we targeting?
- What’s acceptable cost per acquisition?
- How does this align with overall positioning?
If someone can’t clearly explain why a change supports your goals — beyond “Google recommends it” — that’s your cue to pause.
Google Ads can be incredibly powerful.
But it works best when driven by intentional structure, not blanket automation.
📞 Call #3: “You Registered a New Domain…”
RATING: 9/10
This one makes us laugh.
The second you register a domain, the floodgates open. Website builders. SEO firms. Marketing agencies.
The entertaining part? They call us… and we build websites.
There’s usually zero research done before the call.
Typical script:
- “You recently registered…”
- slow pronunciation of your domain (as they read it off their prompter)
- Pause while they realize your site already exists
If you’ve registered a domain, odds are you already have a plan. These are high-volume, low-context outreach campaigns.
Not harmful. Just noise.
🏅 Honourable Mention: “We’ll Send You Leads”
Rating: 10/10 (for annoyance factor alone)
These usually show up on LinkedIn. (Forbes – Reduce the Number of Annoying Sales Message You Get On LinkedIn)
Connection request. Polite intro. Immediate sales pitch.
No context.
No relationship.
No understanding of your audience.
We’re all for networking. We love building relationships. But starting with “We can guarantee you 20 leads this month” skips about five important steps.
Lead generation without positioning, offer clarity, targeting, and conversion systems is just rented attention.
Real growth is built. Not promised.
Annoying Marketing Cold Calls - So What’s the Takeaway?
Cold calls aren’t inherently evil.
Some contain useful insights. Some contain tactics worth exploring. Some are just aggressive sales scripts.
The real question isn’t: “Is this legit?”
It’s: “Is this aligned with my business goals and audience?”
Because marketing should feel strategic and empowering — not reactive and pressured.
If you’re ever unsure whether advice is helpful or hype, we’re happy to offer honest, business-goal-relevant feedback.
No scare tactics. No inflated guarantees. Just clarity.
